A secret

A secret that brings peace and joy to my heart.

I wanted to shout this secret from the rooftops! But my cautious side had me acting otherwise. I went about my work day as if nothing had happened, but I was certainly quietly joy-filled. I soon had to tell the chosen few to start! I hesitated posting about this until I shared this "secret" with close family and friends.

The joyful secret is that my husband and I are finally pregnant. Not that we were trying to conceive for that long, though it felt like it at times!

It was no secret that we were trying to conceive. I jokingly told some co-workers and friends that our honeymoon, which we took two years after our wedding date, could actually be called our "conception-moon." I knew the dates were off to actually conceive at the time, but it was fun to think and joke around about. A fellow nurse asked if I had ever heard of Kokopelli. She told me of this fertility god, which her sister had believed in and eventually had a son. We googled this Native American deity and found out more for ourselves. She still has yet to lend this Kokopelli doll to me. Not that I need it anymore.

Being Catholic, my husband and I have been followers of Natural Family Planning. I have been charting (on and off) my temperatures and cervical mucus since well before we were married. I was pretty confident when I was fertile and not so fertile. We had the avoiding pregnancy thing down!

On my off days from work, I was pretty obsessed in finding out how we could best improve our chances at trying to conceive. But we were already avoiding alcohol, we are non-smokers, and we generally were following a good diet. It was assuring to read the statistics that only 25% of couples get pregnant during the first month of trying, but over half get it right in the next six months.

As we are barely at six weeks now, my greatest fear in sharing our "secret" is the risk of miscarriage. Russ and I talked about this. We decided that we wouldn't want to keep it a secret should we happen to miscarry the little one. And it sure would be nice if our faith-filled family and friends are offering their prayers up for the health of the baby.

Perhaps the part of me that doesn't care to be the center of attention is also setting in, to keep this good news quiet for now. Because the few essential people know now, maybe I wouldn't mind if this secret was leaked.